743 lines
20 KiB
JavaScript
743 lines
20 KiB
JavaScript
const quotes = [
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Can it, Fangs! You don't know diddly-dang about squiddly-squat!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E13"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Holy bones, you poofed it! Call the cops, this guy's crazy!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E14"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Who dares intrude upon I, the King of Demons?!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E1"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Soon, Mr. Ducky, we shall drink the fear of those who mocked us."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E1"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Try to catch me when I\u2019m covered in grease! I'm a squirmy little fella."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E1"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "My crown! Yes, yes! I can feel my powers returning! You, there. Nightmare critter. I shall call you Francois, and you shall be a minion in my army of darkness. Ha\u2010ha!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E1"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Weh?"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E1"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "That was actually one of her better breakups!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E1"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "I AM NOT YOUR CUTIE-PIE!!!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E2"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Ha! Good luck. The Boiling Isles is nothing but a cesspool of despair."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E2"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "You should run a small business of more scones into my mouth."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E2"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Finally, all that mean-spirited laughter made me sleepy."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E2"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Less talky, more nappy."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E2"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Can't mistake her smell. Like lemons and young, na\u00efve confidence."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E2"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "I have no son! Eat salt!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E3"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Even demons have inner demons."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E4"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Look, now we're boo-boo buddies!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E4"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Bap!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E4"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Remember when her head got cut off last week? That woman can survive anything. She's probably just tired from staying up all night chasing shrews and voles."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E4"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "That voice. That horrific voice!!!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E4"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Show me the picture! Hah! I can draw better than that. You know, they once called me the King of Artists."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E5"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Are you bestowing gifts upon me? Yes! I accept your offering! The King of Demons is back!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E5"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Cupcakes in my tummy-tum makes the King say yummy-yum!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E5"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Mmm? Oh, yeah. No."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E5"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "I'm stealing everything that's not nailed down!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E6"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "King? Who's King? I go by Little Bone Boy now."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E6"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Rivals are meant to be annihilated not befriended. Now keep reading. I've been sucked into your awful fandom."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E7"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "What does Luz know about problems anyway? All she has is dumb teen drama! She doesn't understand how hard some of us have it."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E8"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Well, I don't know if you realized, but I'm not a baby!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E8"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "My life is a living nightmare!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E8"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Fight to the death!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E8"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "I've got some... very confusing emotions right now."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E8"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "All right, you acne\u2010encrusted hormone buckets. Let's go let out some teen angst!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E8"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Ooh! Fight, fight, fight!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E9"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Yes! Yes! This is a throne worthy of a tyrant. Bow to me you snotty underlings. Bow!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E10"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "*Rage squeals*"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E10"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Hey you scum! Which one of you wants to read my literary masterpiece? Anyone brave enough?"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E11"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "I've always wanted a people chair! I'm in! This will be my first step in my reclamation of power!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E11"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "I'm sorry, my lawyer advised me not to look at unsolicited work."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E11"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "What's a book? Good night!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E11"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Hey! Less ready, more scratchy!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E12"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Military discipline, cooking! Ha, I truly am a demon for all seasons! Just a dash of Eda's secret sauce and I'm the creator of life!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E12"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "This day shall live in infamy."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E12"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Obedience? Well, what is a teacher if not an authority figure? A king of children, if you will. Yes! I am your teacher! You may call me Mr. King!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E13"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Assume a coefficient of ten, carry the two, solve for Y, and that is the way to steal a pie from a windowsill! Also you can eat trash."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E13"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Alright. Read chapters three to five on the right way to scratch yourself in public. Spoiler alert: There's no wrong way! Ah, days like these make being a teacher all worth it."
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E13"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Oh dear, I've gotten a tube stuck on my nose! Will I ever eat again? Looks like I'm toast!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E14"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "The King of Demons misses nobody! I wouldn't care if she came through this door right now!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E14"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Beat up the man and steal his things for me!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E14"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "I'm gonna bake that kid into a pie!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E15"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Senseless violence. Yes, attack! DEATH IS YOUR GOD!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E16"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "I FORGE MY OWN PATH!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E16"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Why am I doing this? I don't even wear clothes!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E16"
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Ha! What possible regrets could come from the internet? Oh, did you know the earth is actually flat!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E16"
|
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "We're going to turn this blood-bath into a fun-bath!"
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}
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],
|
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E16"
|
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},
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{
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
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"line": "Girl, you can pull off anything! Up top! We're style geniuses!"
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}
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],
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E16"
|
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},
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{
|
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"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
|
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"line": "Now I am king and queen! Best of both things!"
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}
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],
|
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"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E16"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
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{
|
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"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "Yes! Now I\u2019ll strike fear into my enemies with this armor of intimidation."
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}
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|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E17"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
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{
|
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"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "You know what, when she first got here, I thought we were gonna eat her. But now I only think of that, like, sometimes."
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}
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],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E18"
|
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},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
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|
{
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"character": "KING",
|
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"line": "The cake is me!"
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}
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],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E18"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
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{
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"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "Me and Eda don't always see eye to eye, but I do consider her family. I want her back as much as you do."
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}
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],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E19"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
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|
{
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"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "We'll have to do something so diabolical, so criminally insane, that they'll have to send us to the Conformatorium."
|
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}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S1E19"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "I'm never letting you go! You're never returning to the human realm!"
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E1"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "King want a cracker!"
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E1"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "Weh? Yeah yeah, I'll deal with it. No one ever said power came with responsibility..."
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E2"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "The King of Demons yields to no one!"
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E3"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "Ah, the chamber where I would devour the hearts of my foes. The taste was cold and bitter, but I bet yours would be sweet, Luz."
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E3"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "Is that a six-footed pig or a floating appendage? Why, no! It's Gus the Illusion Master. Please leave a message."
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E5"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "And weh, and weh, and weh, and weh, and weh, and weh, and weh, and weh!"
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E7"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "Haha! Saint Epiderm? More like Stank Epiderm!"
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E7"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "DID YOU OWL PELLET ME?!"
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E8"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "You look like one of my hairballs. Let's just do the trench coat thing!"
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E9"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "Guess minecart chases are a lot more dangerous than video games make'em seem."
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E9"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "I can't wait to eat HUMAN snacks!"
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E10"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "It was the... yeast I could do."
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E11"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "With my love of mayhem and Hooty\u2019s desperate need for attention, this\u2019ll be a cake walk!"
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E11"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "Ooh! That'll work great when birds try to fly away with me."
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E14"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "What you need is a healthy distractions from your problems. Like breakfast!"
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E14"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "Is this thing on? Demon King to Luzura, you copy?"
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E16"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "Uh, oh. Uh... Hable m\u00e1s lento, por favor."
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S2E16"
|
|
},
|
|
{
|
|
"lines": [
|
|
{
|
|
"character": "KING",
|
|
"line": "The Collector is just a little kid. A scary, powerful one, but\u2026 also\u2026 sad, and alone. I don\u2019t know, this whole time, I was scared of making him mad, but\u2026 I think I can relate to him."
|
|
}
|
|
],
|
|
"attribution": "The Owl House, S3E1"
|
|
}
|
|
];
|
|
|
|
function toTitleCase(str) {
|
|
return str.replace(
|
|
/\w\S*/g,
|
|
text => text.charAt(0).toUpperCase() + text.substring(1).toLowerCase()
|
|
);
|
|
}
|
|
|
|
const randomIndex = Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length);
|
|
const quote = quotes[randomIndex];
|
|
document.write(`"${quote.lines[0].line}"<br><em><small>~ ${toTitleCase(quote.lines[0].character)} (${quote.attribution})</small></em>`)
|